Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

For the past 8 or so years Mother's Day has been a rough day for me. This year that has changed. This year for the first time in about the same number of years, I spent at least part of the day with each of my children. May 1999 was the last Mother's day I had with Amanda and two years later in 2001 was my last one with Jordan. Living states away from each of them, their schooling and jobs - all these things have prevented me from getting to spend this day with them. Throw in the "Mother's Day Sermons" I have sat through and Mother's day became something that left me feeling lonely for my kids and hurting over every mistake I made as a Mom.

God's grace, peace, mercy and love changed that this year.

Jordan's and our relationship is healing. He lives here in Oklahoma with us now and will until he leaves for basic in September. What a blessing this time with him has been for us and for him. I admit, I was scared of having an adult child move home and feared we would just keep messing up our relationship with each other. God's promises and his timing are doing what needs to be done. It is a work in progress - as all things are. I am trying to remember that and keep my hands off of what I have entrusted to his care. Sharing a special supper with Jordan and Brian this evening (which my Honey prepared) was such a precious closing of this Mother's day.

God has also kept his hand on us in our move. The blessings of that move keep on flowing, like the one above. A special blessing from living here: the opportunity to worship with Amanda and her family today. I haven't done that for a long time on Mother's Day and it was nice to be able to share such a special time with her and her family.

I appreciated the sermon we heard today. For the first time in a long time the "Mother's Day" service didn't leave me bruised and hurting. Instead I left reminded of the fact that God knows my heart. He feels my sorrow for the times I have messed up as a Mom. He hurts with me. He cries with me. He rejoices with me. He listens to my prayers for and about my children. He continually shows me the way to loving my children as he loves me. The most important thing I was reminded of today is the fact that He loves my children and has plans for them.

God is good and I am blessed.

2 comments:

Amanda said...

Well said mom! Love u lots n it was a blessing to have u here too!

Annie said...

I love you, too, and appreciate your openness so much!